My biggest killer is thinking that I’m not capable of obtaining anything that I desire, that I am not able to accomplish because I just don’t know enough.. It’s deadly.
My dreams start to dissolve.
I’m starting to sink back into it, this feeling that I’m wasting precious time. Time that I don’t even know how I should be spending.
I feel like I’m stuck with no idea what I should be doing. Yeah, I could find a better job.. something other than stacking boxes.
I could find a way to make money online. But how? There are so many ways to make money online. I just don’t know where to start.
All I want to think about is how sad I am in regards to what is happening in this country and all around the world.
I don’t know what the f*ck I’m supposed to be doing with my life and how to make anything profitable like my writing for instance or a clothing store.
One thing is for sure though, I know that
I am not alone
in feeling this way.
Many people feel stuck.
And we don’t necessarily know who or where to turn to for help..
I type these words, not for anyone to read (although it would be cool if someone did).
But to see them on the screen.
These are not the words I use within the confines of my journal pages, but the ones that are now displayed. Lost in hyperspace.
However, I know where to find them.
I’m a special flower and I will bloom until my heart’s content.
I will aim to fulfill my self-assigned purpose.
I will grow and make the mistakes that I own.
I will become wise, reflecting on the foolish mistakes I’ve made.
Adding them into the book of lessons along the way, through my journey through life.
This is me. This is raw.
Mostly unfiltered, mostly foolish, mostly young.
I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to do.
And I have a lot to live through.
As much as I care about the world around me like the warming oceans, the major pollution (carbon, plastic, etc.), the obstructions that face human rights… I know that we are far from where we need in order to consider human beings as “civilized”.
I have passion for these things. I have a strong desire to do more within these fields. I just don’t think some of these things are worth fighting for anymore.
The interests are more about the money than they are to evolve.
In order to make real change, there needs to be more than just a few groups of people scattered here and there.
It takes loads of people who want to see real change, get together to create that global impact.
Passion is only a percentage, but it’s a start.
The part I need to work on is to keep going and refine my best methods of expression in which I can create real, effective, and positive change in the world I live in.
With the world as evolved as it has, I am proud to say that we (as humans) have come far.. I am glad to be part of it. And there is much to be worked on.
Of all the humans that have walked this earth, nearly all fields have been dominated..
However, there is something missing.. Something from me.
What can I produce?
I have not contributed as much as I’d like to.
Remaining authentic to myself in all the work that I produce is what I aim for.
There doesn’t need to be anyone that has to like the work I produce, but the point is to have produced something.
What will I have to show for?
So a lot of time has been spent thinking about this.. I’ve been thinking about things that could make this world a better place.
Isn’t that the goal? The objective?
Humans have come very far.. Aren’t we better than this?
Humans have done some amazing things that sets us apart from any other animal on this planet. But we’ve produced more waste than ever before.
If everyone decided to help work on making this world a better place, we could make it happen if we all take action. People are already working on this problem and..
there’s always a place open for anyone who wants to make a difference.
I’m not getting the right nutrients for me to grow as a person.
I’ve noticed this for a while. Sometimes you think the people in your life want to help you be the best person you can possibly be, but when I look around.. I’ve actually gotten a lot of discouragement from people who haven’t done as much with their lives.
I’m out here trying to maximize the potential and value of my life. I’m not out here trying to settle for a mediocre life.
So I say reject discouragement
but at the same time,
accept it as encouragement.
Feed yourself the proper nutrient, self-talk, and encouragement necessary to grow. That’s what you truly need to grow.
USE IT AS FUEL!
I went on a trip and the thought came to me
“If you want to make an impact, you need to use your voice.”
Just one voice can make a difference.
We all make a difference, some way or another.
We are.. interconnected.