I am so upset with myself for not putting in the effort.
For not believing in myself enough.
And for not pushing myself forward.
If I don’t get my sh*t together now, I will surely regret the wasted time.
So what do I want?
I have to work for this.
Recently, I’ve been offered two jobs that pay by the hour.
One is going back to another monotonous job
and the other holds more variety. I will choose that one.
Both offer “decent” wages, higher than minimum wage of $7.25,
which is enough to keep me off the streets.
I often wonder what it’s like, the struggle of working a minimum wage job(s).
What it takes to make ends meet.. and the quality of life that comes with that.
I will start a position with a Health Service company, coordinating prescriptions for patients. And I believe I will enjoy it.
So that part of my life will be covered..
I will not be stressing over that area of my life anymore.
But what’s missing?
Now that all my basic physiological needs are met and I’m starting a new job..
I am hoping my life will get better and I will find a sort of fulfillment out of what is to come.
But underneath the job, there is something more to be accomplished.
And it will continue to scratch at me until I get there.
That’s what I want.
And the new employment is nice. Hopefully it will be fulfilling.
I will feel useful, like I am contributing to something much larger, a greater good.
Rather than just sitting at a computer desk for my entire work day, typing data or collecting payments day-in-and-day-out.. feeling like I’m wasting my life.
I will be contributing to a service which allows patients to receive their medication via mail.
So what other type of fulfillment am I looking for?!
That’s something only I can answer. 🙂
I think that comes with influencing, educating.
More to come on that…